there’s a kind of not knowing which is a lack of confidence...when one isn’t aware of the effects of behaviour...i.e. the lack of awareness that virtue leads to happiness and vice to unhappiness, buy definition, and for lack of a better definition...to realise which of our own behaviour is likely to effect us... consequences of ways of behaving, etc...what leads to what...absence of rational logical reasoning...
then there is another kind of not knowing which is about outcome or result...i.e. non-expectation...not knowing what somebody else will do or why or how and being open and able to adapt and be flexible to those outcomes....
the internal not knowing is an indecision which saps ones energies, which turns self against self...this is destructive...but the outward oriented not-knowing allows mystery, and freedom for others to be who they are...allowing others an open space, not manipulating them or forcing the outcome of encounters with them...this is liberating...
so i thought of starting this blog on the sly...not telling anybody about it, not advertising it on facebook or google or friends or what have you...i thought it might be interesting to just throw the net out and see what people out their in the multiplex access it or respond...who are you all? what's going on? let's see.
so i find out that elon musk, multi multi person went to the same school as me. i may even have sat in the same class as him. damn, maybe i could also have built a spaceship by now...
would it be possible to write letting go? not writing to shore up the world but to release it? people do - i mean they write constantly, don't they, from pain, or grief, from hope of "closure" and catharsis and trying to write their way out of their knots, and yet is this true? or is writing a way of concretising, solidifying, entrenching?
can one really write from letting go?, from release?
the end of every year I collect all the notes I've taken during that year and number them and print out one hard copy.