what kind of writer will i have turned out to be?
this is totally different from what kind of writer i am. well, it’s the familiar subjectivity/objectivity situation – there are so many variations on the theme…so many minds splintering off the one mind…or so many one’s forged composite out of the many…useless to speak of it…
i guess the rising conflict is how to relate to samsaric activity and “my writing”…in the Vedanta principle Salinger is on about the idea of doing one’s best with no thought of reward – i like it – it’s striking…i have had a sense or a glimpse of that, in between the scrabbling and administrative applications – the desperate attempts at recognition and accolades and so on…in amidst these there’s the true joy of being immersed egoless in the sea of words…words flowing from who knows where to who knows how….just the words and not the self preoccupations with whether i shld be a good person and bitterness at others who are not, and so on…or what my concerns should be and complete submergence in american culture and yet also an angry resistance against that national-pride-culture sucking me in or rather pushing me out – i mean 4th of july’s and superbowl sundays and those rituals i’ll never be part of or belong to – so convenient then to dismiss them as ridiculous…
i mean, die mugu is just as great as catcher in the rye in many ways they can be compared…but the book will never sell more than thousands..coz it’s trapped in this tiny island of a language inaccessible to the americans (by which i also mean the english, scotch, welsh and australians, canadians, new zealanders irish and so on and so forth, maybe i should rather say the Anglos, with their mighty nuclear threat type rulers….)
this is totally different from what kind of writer i am. well, it’s the familiar subjectivity/objectivity situation – there are so many variations on the theme…so many minds splintering off the one mind…or so many one’s forged composite out of the many…useless to speak of it…
i guess the rising conflict is how to relate to samsaric activity and “my writing”…in the Vedanta principle Salinger is on about the idea of doing one’s best with no thought of reward – i like it – it’s striking…i have had a sense or a glimpse of that, in between the scrabbling and administrative applications – the desperate attempts at recognition and accolades and so on…in amidst these there’s the true joy of being immersed egoless in the sea of words…words flowing from who knows where to who knows how….just the words and not the self preoccupations with whether i shld be a good person and bitterness at others who are not, and so on…or what my concerns should be and complete submergence in american culture and yet also an angry resistance against that national-pride-culture sucking me in or rather pushing me out – i mean 4th of july’s and superbowl sundays and those rituals i’ll never be part of or belong to – so convenient then to dismiss them as ridiculous…
i mean, die mugu is just as great as catcher in the rye in many ways they can be compared…but the book will never sell more than thousands..coz it’s trapped in this tiny island of a language inaccessible to the americans (by which i also mean the english, scotch, welsh and australians, canadians, new zealanders irish and so on and so forth, maybe i should rather say the Anglos, with their mighty nuclear threat type rulers….)